A Report from This Time Next Year
In an alternate universe: Questions for the Intelligence.
A guest post by Ayn Asimov.
I don’t know if you can believe this, but some people have told me that once upon a time people did this thing called “reading books.” It wasn’t what we do today — scrolling — and taking in a word here or there while we look for the catchphrases and triggers that either alarm us or reassure us and prompt a “like” or “share” or a “wtf” emoji or a call to the Internet provider to report a transgression that will stimulate a re-classification.
I hear it wasn’t like watching a YouTube clip or taking in a podcast while we drive or jog or pretend to be listening in a classroom. It was this thing where they had a physical object, that was, they say, about the size of a Door Dash dinner delivery box, maybe a little smaller. But when you opened it, you didn’t find a savory grilled burger with pretzel bun and side salad or fries and pickle. It had these things I’ve heard described as “pages” with words on them. Kind of like what we scroll past on screens. The words were small and the pages were numbered because people needed to remember where they left off on a story and return to it. They actually spent multiple days reading these things, if you can believe it, sometimes multiple weeks. And they didn’t enter into the reading knowing what they were getting in many cases. Sometimes the book was recommended by a friend, or seen in an advertisement. But when they picked it up or bought it — yes, they once cost money — the “readers” were actually hoping to be surprised. Or hoping to have their minds changed about something. That’s what they tell me at least.
The strangest part of all? The people who wrote these things used to be massive celebrities, apparently. They went on talk shows. They had controversial opinions that people cared to hear. They actually took sides in supporting them, or disliking them, kind of like we do with WWE wrestlers or big city mayoral candidates today. And people were, I’ve heard, always asking them what was the “inspiration” for the book? Especially the version of the book that I’ve heard called a “novel.” Which is odd, since the novel is the kind of book that deals in make-believe, not fact. Maybe there weren’t actually telling the truth that the fiction was all “made up?” Maybe the questioners were trying to get at some more spicy info in the writer’s background? I’ve heard of something called a “higher truth” but that I can only imagine.
I’m curious, but not that curious, to be honest. I’m thankful actually that that’s all been sorted. Why would anyone want to scroll (or “read,” sorry) make believe when there’s so much reality every day with so many exciting stories to learn about? When there’s so much history that so many knowledgeable influencers can summarize for us in five long-form minutes or 20 seconds in most cases? Plus, what really confuses me is how they could just let books in print keep existing on shelves or warehouses when knowledge is being updated every single day. Not just knowledge but how we’re expected to communicate that knowledge. Like, we can’t use words in the year 2026 that we used in the year 2025. I shudder to think what I would do if, in accidentally reading an old “book” from more than 18 months ago, I came across one of the phrases we’ve now realized is harmful or … illegal. We’re so lucky that they can quickly inventory the whole catalogue and update words as needed.
I’m so happy that Intelligence has figured out how useless that old process of information acquisition was. (I heard they used to call it “artificial” intelligence before they realized it was actually the most natural thing in the world to out-source knowledge gathering and storytelling to our most trusted devices). Can you imagine if all the Stories you took in during a day on your trusted devices you instead had to get by carrying multiple-pound things in a backpack or purse, “opening” that object up in a cafe chair or home couch and tediously “reading” line by line over the course of hours, days, weeks and months? Can you imagine if you had to use your own brainpower to judge whether or not a source was reliable? How would you even do that? Would they, like, have to plug you in?
I get it, it is a little bit odd how now, once the Great Sort took place, there became three completely different “ways.” But isn’t that how all cultures developed? From common sources that — when populations scattered — evolved their own traditions and slang? (Got that from a 30-second explainer video, thank you!) I know that now it’s a little different. We don’t get divided up that the same way, over centuries, walking across continents or whatever. We get the Great Opportunity to choose a brand — Green, Yellow or Red. Although given how lame the tech is for anyone who chooses the useless Yellow or Red and not the mainstream Green, how slow the downloads, it’s probably almost as tedious as making it through six or seven hundred pages of a book. So maybe they do know what it’s like to have read one.
Yes, the people who choose Yellow and Red — they’re different from me. They seem to be dedicated to their choice. They wear different clothes. They do different jobs. And they travel different places. (Nowhere good, I’ve heard.) I sense they speak different words when I’m not around. None of which I want to do, be, or have. What I’m getting on the Green — the fastest connection — keeps me busy. It assures me it’s much better where I’m headed. No surprises there, I’m told. Just as good as my perfectly outfitted garage bedroom, where I’m composing this “book-length” post.
Sorry to bore you! I should have found a way to get this said in one breath. But if you’ve stayed with me this long, know that I find the whole reading thing only a curiosity. I myself have no desire to actually look at a printed page if I were to have the bad luck to come across one. What I do admit is that sometimes I’d like to hear, just for a second, what’s in the other person’s headphones — the Yellow or the Red. Then I wonder if that itself is taboo to ask lol.
I guess that’s a question for the Intelligence. Although something tells me to keep it to myself for now.
I'll have a little dystopia w/my coffee, thanks Ayn.
Great post as always, Ayn. I only have the attention span to read part of this now, so I am just assuming the rest of it is as good as the first part.